Muhair – USA

Around middle school, it was around the time I was beginning to feel the temptations seek in. But when hitting 9th grade in high school, that’s when it became evident. A friend I knew in middle school became an arousing crush (not really a romantic interest but more so over a sexual interest). I then began to internally push those feelings aside since I decided not to focus on them as much, but it became hard when my friend discovered my sexuality upon reading a text message I sent to my other friend. Dismayed, I struggled to explain and so finally, in the year 2021 of March, I finally came out to that same friend since I believe she needed to hear the whole story properly from myself. I’m still deciding what exactly I am; I believe I’m either biromantic/bisexual/homosexual. But I’d like to identify myself as a biromantic homosexual.

What sort of things helped you in your journey and through your struggle?

I began to learn about Allah and his love + mercy through Islamic lectures. Upon making sincere duas, I’ve realized they still began getting answered and Allah doesn’t hate me for who I am. He doesn’t discriminate against me for being different. He still sees and treats me like an equal. By understanding Allah, I began to accept myself a lot more.

What things did not help you in your journey?

This is more of a pro and con. I made a gay non-Muslim friend. In the beginning, it was really hard explaining homosexuality from the Islamic perspective, but in the end, he finally understood and we became great friends. Unfortunately, he later confessed he developed feelings for me and me being a biromantic homosexual Muslim, kind of enjoyed it even though I shouldn’t have. The only reason I did was because I never truly experienced someone actually liking me. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be friends with LGBT individuals, we’re still friends to this day, but be careful and try not to fall into fully accepting LGBT as a part of Islam like how the west is doing.